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Q: Does it actually stop people from touching your phone?
A: Tested on three siblings, two coworkers, and one overly curious barista. 100% success rate. The barista still won't make eye contact.
Q: Why the dripping font?
A: Because "Please Do Not Touch" gets ignored. This font has commitment issues. It looks like it wrote itself in a hurry while something was chasing it.
Q: What about the eyes?
A: Those aren't decorative. They're functional. Set this as your lock screen and the eyes align with your notification bar. Every alert feels like being watched by something that doesn't blink. Because it doesn't.
Q: Does it work on all phones?
A: iPhone, Android, that weird off-brand tablet your aunt bought at a gas station. The eyes don't discriminate. The text doesn't care about your OS. The only requirement is that you actually want people to back away slowly.